Monday, September 20, 2010
I feel as though I have done the unthinkable and sneaked a peek behind the curtain. The almighty Oz has been exposed. Our lives as children began with a good healthy fear and respect for our parents. I remember standing on trembling legs before them wondering how they could possibly know I had dismantled the bicycle that I had received from Santa and hacked the forks off of my old bicycle to extend the front wheel of my new bike to look like a chopper motorcycle. It occurred to me much later in life that they simply looked out the window. At the time I was certain that they had magical powers and somehow knew my every move. Dorothy and her friends surely knew this feeling as well as they stood trembling before the all knowing Oz.
Just like you can’t un-ring a bell, you can’t undo the peek. I have seen what’s on the other side; sadly I can’t un-see it. My parents are old and weak. They have no magical powers. They are not all knowing. They are not immortal. Of course you learn this when you are much younger and have your own kids. The curtain becomes thinner and thinner as you see your kids growing up and observe the same wonderment in their eyes. It makes you sad to know that one day they will peek too and see the small frail and scared person you really are. However, nothing prepares you for that final unveiling, that ultimate peek, the truth revealed. They are now dependant on me.
Now I stand before Oz, not trembling with fear but hoping for courage, hoping for a brain, hoping for a heart, but mostly, I just want to go home. God please grant us the courage, knowledge, and compassion that we need.
I'm coming mama...
Just an observation...
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
You Marinate your Cat
BUFFALO, N.Y. -- Police say a traffic stop led to animal cruelty charges after they found a live cat "marinating" in oil and peppers in the trunk of a car.
Buffalo police say officers heard the cat meowing when they stopped 51-year-old Gary Korkuc of Cheektowaga to ticket him for running a stop sign Sunday night.
They say they checked the trunk and found 4-year-old Navarro in a cage, his fur covered with oil, crushed red peppers and chili peppers.
Police say Korkuc told them he did it because Navarro was ill-tempered. Korkuc was charged with cruelty and released; his phone number isn't listed.
Police say he told them he was going to cook Navarro. But they say Korkuc also complained that the neutered male cat got pregnant after he was spayed.
Animal advocates have cleaned Navarro and put him up for adoption.
Yea, I am going with NUTS!
Just an observation...
Friday, August 6, 2010
The Bio-Bug has been converted by UK engineers to run on methane gas.
Excrement flushed down the loos (toilets) of just 70 homes is enough to drive it 10,000 miles - a year's average motoring.
The two-litre VW Beetle convertible is said to be the first gas-powered car that does not suffer reduced performance.
Mohammed Saddiq of Bristol-based sustainable energy firm GENeco, which developed the prototype, says it will pave the way for a green motoring revolution.
He boasts that it drives like a conventional car and will "blow away" electric models.
I don't want to be following that car...
Just an observation...
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
Q. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon,and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election
Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope)
Q.. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental
Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true)
Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death
Q. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)
Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart
and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U..
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
Q. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
Q. What is a seizure?
Roman Emperor (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)
Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.(Irrefutable)
Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas
Q. Use the word 'judicious' in a sentence to show you understand its meaning
A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head