Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Minor Surgery


Darby the Golden Retriever

Brace yourselves my dear readers. I am about to let you in on a little piece of personal information about an upcoming surgery I am considering. Nothing to make a fuss about I assure you. It’s just something I have been meaning to do for some time now. Before you folks start pulling out your prayer list, incense, and tea leaves, just hear me out.

I am seriously considering having the button taken out of my ars! What is it with children, dogs, and telephones? I no sooner sit down in my nice leather theater seat in front of the TV and BAM, just like clock work Darby the Golden Retriever wanders over and stands there looking at me. You people must know what I am talking about. If you ever had any of these three things I know you know what I am talking about. You sit down and like magic the button gets mashed and there they come, holler, bark, or ring!

Darby has tuned in on whatever frequency my particular butt button is tuned to. Like I said, he comes over then stares at me. I know it’s coming so I just stare back and eventually say WHAT?. This just encourages him and so he growls or grunts whatever is considered just below a growl. I turn away and this triggers more conversation. Bark! Ughhh. Bark, he says, you know I have to poop! Let me out. Ughhhh, Darby, I just let you out five minutes ago! Yea, he says, but you didn’t mash the button so I couldn’t; now I can! LET ME OUT!

I am having it taken out. I am having whatever scan there is to find this cursed button and having it removed. So, pray if you must, burn the little smelly sticks if you must, read the leaves if you must, but don’t worry, I am sure it will be fine.

~sigh~

But Darby, I am gonna miss “So you think you can dance”! Ugh!

Just an observation…

Craig Glenn

5 comments:

SAPhotographs (Joan) said...

LOL!! Poor Darby cannot help it if he is so attracted to you. You feed him and pet him when You want, so why cant it sometimes be what HE wants. Okay, they dont know the bit about "inconvienence" or "not now". Besides, he does explaine the situation to you doesn't he, so what more do you want? LOL!!

scot said...

oh, so you get to poop anytime you want. You don't have to ask anybody to open the bathroom door or put down the seat. Aint you special.

The reason he waits is because he knows how "busy" you really are. When he sees you sit down, now you have time for him.

What if Maureen held a stopwatch on you. "Craig, go to the bathroom NOW!! Let's go!! My drink is almost empty, hurry up so you can make me another"

PS. I thought the Dr. already looked for that button with that over 45 poke?

Lynne at Hasty Brook said...

Who can poop on demand?
When the time is right, the time is right.

LOL!

♥ Braja said...

I know the button :)

Damn, this is days old, and my Reader is screwing up so bad....I didn't see this til now....grrr.....

Anonymous said...

I know what you mean. unfortunately it is a family curse on your mother side I think.When Sarah and I o some where the parking lot can be empty, 2 seconds the place is full. sit on a bench....people come from miles around to get in my way.